


[Podfic]Seal It With A Bedspring Kiss

by turva_auto



Series: Podfic [5]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Crack, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, pillowbabies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 18:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 41
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5101724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turva_auto/pseuds/turva_auto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>by author: This is what happens when two badass hockey players fuck when one of them is turned into a fucking bed. Motherfucking pinstripe pillows.</p><p>(Or the Kaner is a Mattress crack!fic.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	[Podfic]Seal It With A Bedspring Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stepquietly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stepquietly/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Seal It With A Bedspring Kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140630) by [stepquietly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stepquietly/pseuds/stepquietly). 



> taken from original document: stepquietly: Tazer doesn't have to chose between best friend and warm bed  
> In some ways, he's a lucky man.  
> This is perhaps the most appealing AU I have ever written.  
> AND I let Kaner keep the bulge in his top layer, if you know what I'm saying.
> 
> Bessyboo: no plz
> 
> \--
> 
> This entire fic was inspired by the stupid ESPN article that talked about how Tazer and Kaner had fights that were all pillow-fighting and bed-punching (link at the end). Somehow that turned into me trolling [archiveofourown.org profile] bessyboo with the chat!fic version of this. And then that turned into me somehow trolling myself by fleshing it out into super serious and dramatic crack!fic. I don't even know!
> 
> Bess alternately wept and cheered me through this, and then went on to beta it. She's pretty awesome, for all that she lead me to inflict this horror upon you all.
> 
> Additional thanks to [archiveofourown.org profile] Celli and [archiveofourown.org profile] derryderrydown for suffering through the chat transcript. Celli even bought her own Pinstripes. Financial wiz, y'all!

###  **Length** :  21 min

 **Streaming/Download**  : [Dropbox](https://www.dropbox.com/s/tu11vlfjs60riqv/seal%20it%20with%20a%20bedspring%20kiss.mp3?dl=0)[  
](https://www.dropbox.com/s/6xm4q0tql3nj4ao/see%20this%20through.mp3?dl=0)**o** **r via:**  [Mediafire](http://www.mediafire.com/listen/j9gj6qqn5ga4dt6/seal_it_with_a_bedspring_kiss.mp3)

  

 I want to thank [stepquietly](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stepquietly/pseuds/stepquietly) for allowing me to produce this. I hope you'll like it. 

I would be grateful if you leave a comment whether or not it needs improving :)

**Author's Note:**

> taken from original document: Epilogue as the chat that came after all of this (FEATURING PINSTRIPES, YO!):
> 
> stepquietly: Tazer and Kaner raise their throw pillows at home  
> Where they're stored in the spare room at Kaner's.  
> Because Tazer can't have sex with them around and so they can't go on the sofa or the fucking bed, Kaner!  
> And Kaner thinks that room makes the best nursery anyway  
> Someday, that fringe pillow is going to come into all its fringe
> 
> Bessyboo: oh lord
> 
> stepquietly: And Kaner will cry #soproud  
> And his sisters will bead that fringe lovingly  
> And the pinstripe pillow will never go with anything  
> And it'll get sent to live in the office by itself
> 
> Bessyboo: D: THAT'S AWFUL
> 
> stepquietly: It's okay.  
> Pinstripes likes the office!  
> It keeps its corners sharp, and likes to hang with the accountants and the agents
> 
> Bessyboo: .............................
> 
> stepquietly: Plus, this way it doesn't have to deal with being squished out of its neat creases.  
> AND it learns a lot about 401Ks  
> Pinstripe pillow ain't just a layabout  
> It got plans, yo
> 
> Bessyboo: oh my god
> 
> stepquietly: Someday, someone magical is gonna come over and hang  
> And Pinstripes is gonna tell them all about its genius plan to transfer over some of the non primary holdings into a high-yield short-term bonds  
> And then they will grant him life
> 
> Bessyboo: ......................
> 
> stepquietly: And Tazer and he will have an awkward but warm relationship, and Kaner will insist on fluffing his edges, whoops, his hair.
> 
> Bessyboo: oh my god
> 
> stepquietly: Tazer/Kaner bed punching pillow fights  
> Which they never have anymore because you know, the kids.
> 
> Bessyboo: i have made a terrible mistake.gif
> 
> stepquietly: You love me  
> Don't lie  
> I can sense it all the way in your part of the world -  
> The sobbing love you feel for me.
> 
> Bessyboo: sobbing SOMETHING
> 
> LATER:
> 
> derryderrydown: PINSTRIPES
> 
> stepquietly: PINSTRIPES GOT PLANS, YO
> 
> derryderrydown: PINSTRIPES GONNA INVEST WISELY LIKE A MOFO
> 
> stepquietly: PINSTRIPES GONNA RUN THE WORLD, BE A WALL STREET BRO
> 
> derryderrydown: PINSTRIPES AIN'T GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME TOTALLY UNSUITABLE HOCKEY PLAYER- oops.
> 
> stepquietly: FORBIDDEN LOVE. HOW WILL PINSTRIPES EVER EXPLAIN HIS PARENTS? HIS CONCEPTION? HIS FLUFFY INNARDS?!!!  
> LIFE BE HARD.
> 
> The ESPN article that started it all: http://espn.go.com/nhl/story/_/page/maginterviewtoewskane/chicago-blackhawks-patrick-kane-jonathan-toews-nhl-odd-couple-espn-magazine
> 
> The complete original chat transcript: http://stepquietly.dreamwidth.org/6525.html#cutid1


End file.
